Remember this post about our sleep issues….one child will not sleep during the day and one will not sleep at night. For weeks ok really months I have been running on as little sleep as possible (I didn’t realize law school was prep for motherhood) and doing ok but recently we have been up and down and up and down – it is about to do me in and lead me to the question “Is she trying to break me?” and if so why?
(I wrote this next part a week or so ago trying to work through some things….)
So I was facebooking about Little Princess’ lack of continuous sleep and one of my friends was teasing me about it – then my mother in law joined in and said those words most mothers long to hear “both kids can come and spend the night with Gram and Papa just let us know when.” Now when I read the words I was thinking is this Friday too soon (they both work so I would never wish these two on them on a week night). Then the more I thought about it the scarier it got.
See I am a bit of a control freak and giving up my kids for a night is well giving up control of them for one night (even though it may be necessary for my sanity). I do not get how those moms who start letting their kids stay over at people’s houses before they are one or two do it. I mean my inlaws have not even picked the kids up, heck we have not even picked a day yet and I am stressing about all of the things that could happen. I tried to talk it out with Alison last night and she was great to talk to because she didn’t try to talk me out of it – she tried to help me work through all of my worries. One worry I have is what if Little Man wakes up — that happens like once every few months – but when he really wakes up at night (he can cry a little in his sleep) he is almost inconsolable for at least 30 minutes and then he is wide awake for at least an hour. I would hate for him to be completely inconsolable because he is in a different place and then his grandparents are stuck with two screaming kids (yes it would wake his sister). While the chances of him actually waking up are VERY small they are still there. Then we have Little Princess….there are times the ONLY person she will let calm her down is me (she will let Daddy get her out of the crib but scream until she sees me and then wants to cuddle for an hour before returning to her bed). Alison made a good point last night though – she said they are her grandparents so while you make her relax etc when she wakes up they would probably let her play and even give her a snack if she wanted one (which is true — Little Princess has Papa wrapped around her little finger, pretty tightly I might add). So she would not scream for long if I sent all the right toys/books (Alison knows that dolls and books are Little Princess’ favorites) and made sure Gram and Papa had some popcorn on hand (her favorite night time snack).
Notice that I have no worries about Gram and Pop’s ability to care for my children – they love them and would care for them. And I know that if it got really bad they would first try to call us to see if talking to Mommy and Daddy on the phone would help and if that did not do the trick they would bring them home so no one would be too traumatized though they would only do that as a last resort. Also, note that I am not worried about Little Man and Little Princess thinking we left them with complete strangers – when I mention Gram or Papa they both immediately point to the picture on the wall of Gram and Papa – they can identify all of the immediate members of both Aaron and I’s families.
Both Aaron and I fondly recall spending the night with our grandparents and we would like to be able to let Little Man and Little Princess have those fond memories as well so maybe I should chat with Gram….
(Ok the rest I wrote today…)
So I did it – we planned a Friday night for Gram and Papa to take ALL of the kids (yep the exchange student as well) and that Friday was last night. I am not sure Aaron or I thought this would really happen as prior to Little Man and Little Princess leaving we talked about just going to Wal-Mart…it was kind of a joke! But it happened…I planned out clothing, made sure they had all of the right toys and lovies, lots of extra clothes and even disposable diapers (if you don’t know we cloth diaper but didn’t want to add another thing for Gram and Papa to worry about). We took the car seats out of our car and let Gram and Papa use them (because the kids are not 30 lbs yet….close but not yet).
As they pulled away from the house I was crying, but I didn’t hear either of them cry (Gram said Little Man whimpered for a bit but not very long – as if he could not figure out what was going on). Daddy and I came in the house and tried to decide what to do. We decided to try out a new restaurant down the street and it was very good and pretty reasonably priced – matter of fact I may take the twins there for lunch soon since we can walk there and lunch was even more reasonably priced.
At dinner we talked about how we had forgot what it was like to eat hot meal or not ask for a child’s meal to come out before ours. We talked about what the last 15 months have been like. We talked about purchasing a used mini-van (I said talked – it will be awhile before that happens.) We talked about more adoptions. All of this talk was without interruption, no toddler talk, no picking up food from the floor, no crayons, and no screaming. We had forgot what that felt like…and it felt good. Don’t get me wrong we talked about our children A LOT and we wondered what they were doing and if they were having fun. We were proud that we didn’t call and ask.
After dinner we ditched the plan to make a Wal-Mart run and went to rent movies. It took an hour to choose 3 movies and come home…we almost fell asleep in the video rental store. But once we were home we cuddled up with each other – no kids on our laps, no one jealous of who was with which parent just mommy and daddy. It was nice. We enjoyed the movies even the bad ones and went to bed….still missing our babies but planning to sleep in!
We slept like babies….and did run a ton of errands today without the kids! We invited Gram and Papa for dinner. We learned that everyone was good and no one really melted down the whole time. And we had never been happier to see our babies faces – ok maybe once when we first met them – but we were happy to see them and they us. The whole thing went so well we discussed doing it again in a few months!
The only thing I would change is preparing the babies better….Little Princess is mad at me. I expect this to last a few days but other than that it was great! Thanks Gram and Papa!
So pictures from before bed: