I am pretty sure I am down to like ONE real reader anymore. Between the move and the original issues with the feed I have lost a ton of followers. I built my blog readership before by visiting other blogs, reading and commenting. I became involved and wanted to read people’s stories. I pretty much only read adoption blogs. Then when we brought the babies home I was able to keep up for awhile but there came a point when all I could do was read but if someone’s child was older than mine or the same age I stopped reading it was way too hard…I felt as if the delays my children were suffering were my fault even though in reality they were due to two things (1) being born at 25 weeks gestation and (2) being adopted into a foreign culture at 14 months old.

I then had to go looking for new blogs to read…ones that made me feel as if I was a good mom or helped me learn how to be a better stay at home mom. I kept all the other blogs in my reader but added new ones as I would visit them only once to see what they had to say. Sometimes I would read all the posts in my reader and cry…it was hard because I felt not only as if I had lost my community but I had lost the amazing friendships I had built up in the 20 months we went through the crazy adoption. As blogs went private or had passwords added I would miss out and feel too late to join in so I would be at a loss, feeling once again left out.

I would resolve to catch up again and start commenting again now that I have a little bit more time and fail so badly. Then I would feel bad again…I want to be a part of the community again but now I am afraid to ask to be a part again. Have I been gone for too long? Has too much happened? What if I still have issues returning phone calls or e-mails? What if I am still always behind but I am still reading?

Will you take me back with all my faults? Can I sit with you at lunch again?

And the pictures you came for: